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Shift from thinking 'Kids do well if they want to' to 'Kids do well if they can



What do big frustration responses mean?


  • If this child knew how important it is he would do better, I need to give him a good reason to do better.

  • This child is manipulating and co-ercing the adults in his life with his explosive behaviour

  • This child is testing the limits (this is true of everyone and therefor a useless thing to think)

  • If this child wasn’t lazy or difficult he’d do better...

  • If this child can sometimes get it right, he should be able to always get it right. I need to add more consequences when he doesn’t do well!

Ultimately all these assumption has one underlying assumption: More effort will have my kid do better.


What if that assumption is incorrect?


Watch the video here


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